vegan crocodile and fly (monologue)

I am Cro-co, a handsome, cool gentleman, and very modest crocodile!
I know you came to admire my kind character and my shiny metal skin!

Yeah it acts as a perfect kaleidoscope in the water,
mirroring the most beautiful patterns you have ever seen in the water.

You see the contrast with the tropical forest?
Natural beauty!!!
Well not really, it requires a lot of works and ethics!
Because I am vegetarian.

Cro-co, the first and only, veggie crocodile.
My peers are gross.
They eat fish, reptiles, mammals, and even cannibalize other crocodiles.
Their skin is thick and smelly, no other creature can hang around them.
Not even their family.
Very unfriendly,
No tolerance to others, definitely not to weak little animals.
True barbarians.


Just stay away from them!

Hey what is this noise?
Are you a fly? An actual insect?
A meat animal?
Get out of my way!


You are not supposed to touch my delicate skin with your dirty wings!!!
Don't touch me!


Stop trying to enter my mouth! I just did Listerine!!!
You are going to pollute it.
And I cannot even imagine touching meat with my tongue, even if it is alive...
Leave me alone!!!


This is disturbing.


What you want to become friends? No way!!! What a handsome aristocratic crocodile can do with an ugly, dirty, fly like you? No way!!!

What? You have something to offer to me? A beauty product for my skin? A special pollen that I can use as a powder after my morning bath?

Wow, sounds exciting.
You stole it from the bee-ground just to gift it to me?
I am flattered!

Well maybe we can hang around after all.
Wait a minute did I introduce my self?
I am Cro-co, a handsome, cool gentleman, and very modest crocodile!